How Final Fantasy Mystic Quest Predicted the Future

(Originally appeared on Vidme. Follow me for more content like this!)

Autosaves, long-grinding sessions, mind-numbing statistics, OH MY! Guess who decided to hell with that in the name of children, whilst also keeping the average overworked adult gamer in mind years later? SQUARE DID!

This video delves into my logic as to how the widely panned Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest predicted the future for us all! Kick back and relax, hit Play, and Lumpz the Clown OUT!

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SOS: An Engaging, Cinematic Disaster Experience on your SNES

sos

When I first picked up SOS, I was already a big fan of 1972’s The Poseidon Adventure, starring Gene Hackman and the late, great Ernest Borgnine. I knew going in that no other SNES game I had played thus far would be anything like it, but nothing prepared me for the emotional visual and auditory onslaught that awaited me once I hit Power. Continue reading

The Great Duck Hunt Experiment

Heya, folks! Lumpz the Clown here, and I have to say that I had a blast making this. We as retrogamers need to understand that one day, CRT televisions will no longer be readily available. And when that day finally comes, retro greats like Wild Gunmen and Duck Hunt may no longer be playable!

In anticipation of this shortage, I find it my duty to not only stockpile my own collection of CRT televisions (most of which can be found for free on Craigslist), but to also inform my fellow retrogamers before it’s too late.

This video aims to inform you of which monitors work with Duck Hunt and other lightgun games, and which ones don’t. It’s quite possible that these will disappear in our life time, so get them while you can! Lumpz the Clown OUT!

Clowny Links Below!

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Heart Grinding Exploit? | Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest

So there I was, working on my last beer of the night while playing Caslevania II: Simon’s Quest, when all of a sudden, I noticed two things:

  1. Time doesn’t pass when you’re inside buildings.
  2. Enemies that spawn on screen will endlessly respawn once you walk past a certain point.

Armed with this knowledge, I continued grinding until I experienced yet another phenomenon unique to the NES: you cannot earn more than 256 Hearts in Simon’s Quest. I’d experienced a similar issue when first playing Legend of Zelda many years ago, where you’re limited to 255 Rupees maximum.

However, I didn’t attribute this to the NES’s processor limitations until very recently (April 2nd, 2016 to be exact)!

Thanks to DubiousGamingOnline for the tip!

I’ve also heard banter in various Facebook groups that level-ups can only occur once inside mansions, so this exploit would only work for the soul purpose of farming hearts. However, as a longtime fan of Simon’s Quest, I was always more likely to die jumping/falling/glitching into water than taking enough damage, but hey, that could just be my own shaky understanding of how gravity works!

Perhaps I’ll have to test this theory out on stream someday

Thanks for watching, and Lumpz the Clown OUT!

Clowny Links Below!

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Clown Cave Tour 2016

A Piece-by-Piece Playlist

Every game has a story…

Heya, folks! Lumpz the Clown here, and I’m ready to unleash my entire collection and respective backstories on an unwitting public! I’m not one of those collectors who holds onto duds for too long, so if it stays in the collection for more than a year, it has a special place in this clown’s heart!

Each system I own will be represented, along with accessories and plug ‘n plays! Thanks for watching, and Lumpz the Clown OUT!

Clowny Links Below!

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Take Another Look: Metroid (NES)

A few months ago, I played through Metroid for the NES in one sitting. As I slogged on the all the grace of a wounded duck, I began to notice a few things: 1) isolation, 2) one against many, 3) item finding, 4) exploration and 5) epic boss battles.

For those who were gaming in the 90’s, a genre dubbed “survival horror” began to take over with the likes of Resident Evil, Dino Crisis and Fatal Frame. Metroid contains many of the elements that make these games staples in the survival horror genre.

Do you think Metroid has what it takes to be an early survival horror title? Let me know!

 

Clowny Links Below!

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Summer Brutality 2015: Games List

Summer Brutality 2015 may be over, but it’s definitely not forgotten! Thank you all for making this event one to remember!

Heya, folks! Lumpz the Clown here, and I’m here to announce an exciting, new streaming event starting this Saturday (6/13) at 6PM ESTSUMMER BRUTALITY 2015! This will be your opportunity to watch your favorite clowny gamer get his ass spanked by some of the hardest games in history!

Livestreams will commence every Saturday on my Twitch channel, with game/time announcements on my Twitter & Facebook profiles every Wednesday! Be sure to peep in on those profiles, as start/end times AND games are subject to change!

So what will I be playing? In no particular order, here’s the list: Continue reading