AAA Companies: Be Afraid, Very Afraid

(Originally published on GameSkinny approx. 2 years ago. I’m taking my shit back. Enjoy!)

Indies are taking over the industry! Why? AAA developers are burnt out, investors are assholes, and gamers are getting sick of it!

But why is that exactly, you may ask? Easy! A large number of gamers are getting tired of the same, old iterations over and over again, year after year. Even if some of them don’t vocalize their concerns, a general call for the return of innovation has begun. Continue reading

Super Castlevania IV Highlights, Next Stream Announcement

Where I’m at roughly one week later:

I now walk a little taller, look people square in the eye more often, and take more foolhardy risks with a confident smile on my face. And that’s only what the world sees. Inside, I’m a squealing little schoolgirl who just saw a photorealistic cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber in the corner of that Torrid store Mom always avoided! Continue reading

Summer Brutality 2017 Announcement

Hey hey, folks! Lumpz the Clown here, and I’m pleased to announce…SUMMER BRUTALITY 2017! In previous events, I would give myself 2 hours to claim victory over some of the hardest titles in video game history, and mostly fail at it. I’ve taken on the likes of Volgarr the Viking, Mega Man, and Castlevania Adventure…all of which have ended in utter failure.

But that last one has stuck with me somehow. And one more, I’m a little sick and tired of my own continually growing backlog of games that I may never get around to beating. That is why, for Summer Brutality 2017, I’m pleased to announce the end of this practice, while showing my love for Castlevania, by taking on three, count ’em, THREE Castlevania titles. Continue reading

How Final Fantasy Mystic Quest Predicted the Future

(Originally appeared on Vidme. Follow me for more content like this!)

Autosaves, long-grinding sessions, mind-numbing statistics, OH MY! Guess who decided to hell with that in the name of children, whilst also keeping the average overworked adult gamer in mind years later? SQUARE DID!

This video delves into my logic as to how the widely panned Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest predicted the future for us all! Kick back and relax, hit Play, and Lumpz the Clown OUT!

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SOS: An Engaging, Cinematic Disaster Experience on your SNES

(Editor’s note: An affiliate Amazon link is included below. Get an amazing piece of innovative SNES history and help support your favorite clown!)

When I first picked up SOS, I was already a big fan of 1972’s The Poseidon Adventure, starring Gene Hackman and the late, great Ernest Borgnine. I knew going in that no other SNES game I had played thus far would be anything like it, but nothing prepared me for the emotional visual and auditory onslaught that awaited me once I hit Power. Continue reading

Clown Cave Tour 2016

A Piece-by-Piece Playlist

Every game has a story…

Heya, folks! Lumpz the Clown here, and I’m ready to unleash my entire collection and respective backstories on an unwitting public! I’m not one of those collectors who holds onto duds for too long, so if it stays in the collection for more than a year, it has a special place in this clown’s heart!

Each system I own will be represented, along with accessories and plug ‘n plays! Thanks for watching, and Lumpz the Clown OUT!

Clowny Links Below!

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Summer Brutality 2015: Games List

Summer Brutality 2015 may be over, but it’s definitely not forgotten! Thank you all for making this event one to remember!

Heya, folks! Lumpz the Clown here, and I’m here to announce an exciting, new streaming event starting this Saturday (6/13) at 6PM ESTSUMMER BRUTALITY 2015! This will be your opportunity to watch your favorite clowny gamer get his ass spanked by some of the hardest games in history!

Livestreams will commence every Saturday on my Twitch channel, with game/time announcements on my Twitter & Facebook profiles every Wednesday! Be sure to peep in on those profiles, as start/end times AND games are subject to change!

So what will I be playing? In no particular order, here’s the list: Continue reading