Summer Brutality 2017 Announcement

Hey hey, folks! Lumpz the Clown here, and I’m pleased to announce…SUMMER BRUTALITY 2017! In previous events, I would give myself 2 hours to claim victory over some of the hardest titles in video game history, and mostly fail at it. I’ve taken on the likes of Volgarr the Viking, Mega Man, and Castlevania Adventure…all of which have ended in utter failure.

But that last one has stuck with me somehow. And one more, I’m a little sick and tired of my own continually growing backlog of games that I may never get around to beating. That is why, for Summer Brutality 2017, I’m pleased to announce the end of this practice, while showing my love for Castlevania, by taking on three, count ’em, THREE Castlevania titles. Continue reading

Christopher Belmont Sucks

(Click here to read all about his misdeeds on Gaming Rebellion)

Alright. I’ve had a few days to calm down and listen to some of the discourse of my fellow Castlevania fans over on Facebook, but my opinion still stands: Christopher Belmont is the absolute worst! Continue reading

How Final Fantasy Mystic Quest Predicted the Future

(Originally appeared on Vidme. Follow me for more content like this!)

Autosaves, long-grinding sessions, mind-numbing statistics, OH MY! Guess who decided to hell with that in the name of children, whilst also keeping the average overworked adult gamer in mind years later? SQUARE DID!

This video delves into my logic as to how the widely panned Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest predicted the future for us all! Kick back and relax, hit Play, and Lumpz the Clown OUT!

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SOS: An Engaging, Cinematic Disaster Experience on your SNES

sos

When I first picked up SOS, I was already a big fan of 1972’s The Poseidon Adventure, starring Gene Hackman and the late, great Ernest Borgnine. I knew going in that no other SNES game I had played thus far would be anything like it, but nothing prepared me for the emotional visual and auditory onslaught that awaited me once I hit Power. Continue reading

The Great Duck Hunt Experiment

Heya, folks! Lumpz the Clown here, and I have to say that I had a blast making this. We as retrogamers need to understand that one day, CRT televisions will no longer be readily available. And when that day finally comes, retro greats like Wild Gunmen and Duck Hunt may no longer be playable!

In anticipation of this shortage, I find it my duty to not only stockpile my own collection of CRT televisions (most of which can be found for free on Craigslist), but to also inform my fellow retrogamers before it’s too late.

This video aims to inform you of which monitors work with Duck Hunt and other lightgun games, and which ones don’t. It’s quite possible that these will disappear in our life time, so get them while you can! Lumpz the Clown OUT!

Clowny Links Below!

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Heart Grinding Exploit? | Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest

So there I was, working on my last beer of the night while playing Caslevania II: Simon’s Quest, when all of a sudden, I noticed two things:

  1. Time doesn’t pass when you’re inside buildings.
  2. Enemies that spawn on screen will endlessly respawn once you walk past a certain point.

Armed with this knowledge, I continued grinding until I experienced yet another phenomenon unique to the NES: you cannot earn more than 256 Hearts in Simon’s Quest. I’d experienced a similar issue when first playing Legend of Zelda many years ago, where you’re limited to 255 Rupees maximum.

However, I didn’t attribute this to the NES’s processor limitations until very recently (April 2nd, 2016 to be exact)!

Thanks to DubiousGamingOnline for the tip!

I’ve also heard banter in various Facebook groups that level-ups can only occur once inside mansions, so this exploit would only work for the soul purpose of farming hearts. However, as a longtime fan of Simon’s Quest, I was always more likely to die jumping/falling/glitching into water than taking enough damage, but hey, that could just be my own shaky understanding of how gravity works!

Perhaps I’ll have to test this theory out on stream someday

Thanks for watching, and Lumpz the Clown OUT!

Clowny Links Below!

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Clown Cave Tour 2016

A Piece-by-Piece Playlist

Every game has a story…

Heya, folks! Lumpz the Clown here, and I’m ready to unleash my entire collection and respective backstories on an unwitting public! I’m not one of those collectors who holds onto duds for too long, so if it stays in the collection for more than a year, it has a special place in this clown’s heart!

Each system I own will be represented, along with accessories and plug ‘n plays! Thanks for watching, and Lumpz the Clown OUT!

Clowny Links Below!

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