Summer Brutality 2016 Game List

The sun is blazing, the heat is merciless, everything’s sticky and there’s not enough soap in the world to sate your sweaty crack. That can only mean one thing…SUMMER BRUTALITY HAS RETURNED for 2016! And the first stream begins at 4PM MST on June 18th!

Streams will be viewable on my Twitch channel and times/games are subject to change. Follow me on Twitter and Facebook to get the most up-to-date information. Continue reading

The Great Duck Hunt Experiment

Heya, folks! Lumpz the Clown here, and I have to say that I had a blast making this. We as retrogamers need to understand that one day, CRT televisions will no longer be readily available. And when that day finally comes, retro greats like Wild Gunmen and Duck Hunt may no longer be playable!

In anticipation of this shortage, I find it my duty to not only stockpile my own collection of CRT televisions (most of which can be found for free on Craigslist), but to also inform my fellow retrogamers before it’s too late.

This video aims to inform you of which monitors work with Duck Hunt and other lightgun games, and which ones don’t. It’s quite possible that these will disappear in our life time, so get them while you can! Lumpz the Clown OUT!

Clowny Links Below!

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Clowny News 10/24/15

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Hey hey, folks! Lumpz the Clown here, and I’m ready to deliver more devastating video game-centric news for that ass! To put it into the most basic terms possible, there’s gonna be a LOT of shit that’s gonna happen in just a short amount of time! So without any further ado, let’s get started! Continue reading

Steam Giveaway 2015

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Calling All Poets!

Heya, folks! Lumpz the Clown here with another exciting announcement! About a year ago, I started hearing the buzz about a little game called…Insanity’s Blade! Developed and published by Causal Bit GamesInsanity’s Blade pits the hero, Thurstan, against the very spawn of Hell in a 2D adventure chock full of action, RPG and platforming elements!

Intense violence meets intense action as Thurstan desperately fights to avenge the deaths of his family and whole fucking village! Seriously, this man has nothing to lose and will only find satisfaction once the parties responsible for this vile deed are PUT DOWN!

Here’s the official trailer to get dat ass HYPED!

I have one, count ’em, ONE Steam key to give away to ONE lucky gamer! So how does said gamer get their grubby little paws on this piece of retro-inspired awesomeness?!

How to Win

Simple. Write me a piece of awesome gaming poetry. I was gonna go with another haiku callout, but I’m not here to restrict the amazing artistic talents of our own gaming community! Technically, I want to leave this as open as possible, but I do have a couple rules, namely:

  1. It must make sense to everyone, even those who have never even played the game being discussed.
  2. The poem must follow typical poem structure.
  3. It should be funny, amusing, interesting, etc.
  4. ALL ENTRIES ARE DUE BY NOVEMBER 18th, 2015!

I hope you marked that shit on your calender, as it will not be getting bumped, changed, jaunted, spooned….NONE OF THAT SHIT!

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Never been a fan of that shit anyway.

I’m not putting a cap on the number of entries being accepted, but that only puts the pressure on YOU, the writer, to give me the best shit you can possibly muster! ALL entries will be read in the next Poetry Corner entry (here’s my previous one for those who may not be familiar with the series), with the winner receiving a discreet email from me containing the one, the only, Insanity’s Blade!

Of course, I’ll also be happy to include any links to your work in the video description. You have a website, a blog, social media? Let me know and I’ll link your ass up!

How to Participate

As my last attempt was a little mish-mash, I will ONLY be accepting entries delivered via email.

SEND ALL ENTRIES to lumpztheclown[at]gmail.com. NO EXCEPTIONS! All other entries will be rejected outright!

Again, I’m accepting an unlimited number of entries until 11:59PM, NOVEMBER 18th, 2015! Give me your best and let’s leave these motherfuckers eyes and ears bleeding with video game awesomeness! And hey, maybe a fresh, new copy of Insanity’s Blade JUST FOR YOU!

I wish you all the best of luck, and Lumpz the Clown OUT!

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Clowny News 6/6/15

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Greetings, folks! Lumpz the Clown here, and if you couldn’t tell by simply looking around, I’ve been REALLY FUCKING BUSY! Aside from the obvious layout changes and content additions, I’ve mostly been hanging in the background promoting some of the excellent content I’ve come across on the Interwebz lately!

Further, I’ve also eliminated certain “time vacuums” from my own IRL! What does that mean?! Well, new content, of course! Read on a get schooled, good people! Continue reading