Unpopular Gaming Opinions

(Click here to read the whole article on Gaming Rebellion.)

About 2 months ago, my feeds were swept up in the awesomeness known as #UnpopularGamingOpinions. Seeing a lot of my closest Twitter buds getting in on the action, I decided Continue reading

The Wilderness Survival Kit for Gamers


Heya, folks! Lumpz the Clown here, and I recently wrote an article for Gaming Rebellion where I exude some of the knowledge I’ve absorbed about the gaming community and how we can all better enjoy this amazing hobby together! Continue reading

Study Finds Angry, Awkward People in Non-Gaming Circles

Kohlrabi-i-am-gamer-1Alright, I had to write this one. It seems that I have an unconscious attraction towards socially stigmatized groups. When I was younger, it was my affinity for Insane Clown Posse; and now, it’s for being a gamer. When you’re bashed on for so long by random strangers online or on the street, their voices steadily drop in volume until they’re finally and blissfully muted. Continue reading

Steam Giveaway 2015


Calling All Poets!

Heya, folks! Lumpz the Clown here with another exciting announcement! About a year ago, I started hearing the buzz about a little game called…Insanity’s Blade! Developed and published by Causal Bit GamesInsanity’s Blade pits the hero, Thurstan, against the very spawn of Hell in a 2D adventure chock full of action, RPG and platforming elements!

Intense violence meets intense action as Thurstan desperately fights to avenge the deaths of his family and whole fucking village! Seriously, this man has nothing to lose and will only find satisfaction once the parties responsible for this vile deed are PUT DOWN!

Here’s the official trailer to get dat ass HYPED!

I have one, count ’em, ONE Steam key to give away to ONE lucky gamer! So how does said gamer get their grubby little paws on this piece of retro-inspired awesomeness?!

How to Win

Simple. Write me a piece of awesome gaming poetry. I was gonna go with another haiku callout, but I’m not here to restrict the amazing artistic talents of our own gaming community! Technically, I want to leave this as open as possible, but I do have a couple rules, namely:

  1. It must make sense to everyone, even those who have never even played the game being discussed.
  2. The poem must follow typical poem structure.
  3. It should be funny, amusing, interesting, etc.

I hope you marked that shit on your calender, as it will not be getting bumped, changed, jaunted, spooned….NONE OF THAT SHIT!


Never been a fan of that shit anyway.

I’m not putting a cap on the number of entries being accepted, but that only puts the pressure on YOU, the writer, to give me the best shit you can possibly muster! ALL entries will be read in the next Poetry Corner entry (here’s my previous one for those who may not be familiar with the series), with the winner receiving a discreet email from me containing the one, the only, Insanity’s Blade!

Of course, I’ll also be happy to include any links to your work in the video description. You have a website, a blog, social media? Let me know and I’ll link your ass up!

How to Participate

As my last attempt was a little mish-mash, I will ONLY be accepting entries delivered via email.

SEND ALL ENTRIES to lumpztheclown[at]gmail.com. NO EXCEPTIONS! All other entries will be rejected outright!

Again, I’m accepting an unlimited number of entries until 11:59PM, NOVEMBER 18th, 2015! Give me your best and let’s leave these motherfuckers eyes and ears bleeding with video game awesomeness! And hey, maybe a fresh, new copy of Insanity’s Blade JUST FOR YOU!

I wish you all the best of luck, and Lumpz the Clown OUT!



No Matter What, The Show Must Go On: You Matter


No Matter What

For those who are struggling, know this: YOU ARE NOT ALONE! A lot of us tend to take on the heavy task of trying to fix our pain ourselves, whether it’s through crippling loneliness or social awkwardness, and gamers are no exception. I’ve talked with many of my buddies on the low about these very real problems, and some of them even chose to commit suicide, feeling like there’s no way out. Continue reading

Celebrating Mr. Iwata – How Nintendo Made My Broken Childhood Awesome


The Birth of a Gamer

I’m sure I’m not the only one among my gaming brethren that grew up in a broken home. In fact, I don’t have any memory of my biological parents being together. They divorced when I was 3 years old, and as far as my little brother and I were concerned, this was how life was and we didn’t feel any different from any of the other kids whose parents were still together. Continue reading

E3 2015 and Beyond: Stop Gamer Entitlement, Play Nice


(Author’s note: Alright, I’ve decided that enough is enough. There is entirely too much poison that gets spewed around by the vocal minority in the gaming community after every single E3 event! I totally get that we would all like to hear a console or game announcement that will absolutely knock our socks off, and some of us even think that we have the answers that will turn a seemingly “defunct” video game company around!

However, when we begin to bemoan and even chastise our fellow gamers because what they’re excited about isn’t in agreement with us, that is when the line is crossed! We need to learn to respect each other’s opinions, and put our passion for gaming in the RIGHT place!

Below, I’ve included the opening snippet and link to my full article over on ScrewAttack with the aim of reminding us of that childhood wonderment we all experienced when getting a new game, and NOT walking around like a bunch of entitled, whiny bitches who scream and hurt others when they don’t get their way.  Sounds a lot like a bratty kid, huh?

Time to look at ourselves, folks, and call the trolls out for what they are….TROLLS!)


Every year it’s the same thing; E3 comes and goes, but the poison remains for weeks afterwards. Some feel that video game companies should release only what THEY want.

Instead of remaining hopeful that their dreams may be realized sooner than they think, these angry individuals take to the internet, cry about it, and BASH ANYONE who disagrees with them!

Those days are over…

Read the full article over at ScrewAttack!

Clowny Links Below!