Atari Flashback 2: Complete Review and Breakdown

(Editor’s note: This article contains affiliate links. Get cool Atari shit and support your favorite clown!)

For years innumerable, my favorite hobby has been trolling Craigslist in search of awesome retrogaming gear on the cheap! After weeks of searching with nothing impressing me much, I found an ad for an Atari Flashback 2 at a mere $20, complete in box!

(If meeting potentially dangerous strangers in dark, unfamiliar places is not your bag, you can always pick up the Atari Flashback 2 from Amazon!) Continue reading

Unpopular Gaming Opinions

(Click here to read the whole article on Gaming Rebellion.)

About 2 months ago, my feeds were swept up in the awesomeness known as #UnpopularGamingOpinions. Seeing a lot of my closest Twitter buds getting in on the action, I decided Continue reading

The Wilderness Survival Kit for Gamers


Heya, folks! Lumpz the Clown here, and I recently wrote an article for Gaming Rebellion where I exude some of the knowledge I’ve absorbed about the gaming community and how we can all better enjoy this amazing hobby together! Continue reading

SOS: An Engaging, Cinematic Disaster Experience on your SNES

(Editor’s note: An affiliate Amazon link is included below. Get an amazing piece of innovative SNES history and help support your favorite clown!)

When I first picked up SOS, I was already a big fan of 1972’s The Poseidon Adventure, starring Gene Hackman and the late, great Ernest Borgnine. I knew going in that no other SNES game I had played thus far would be anything like it, but nothing prepared me for the emotional visual and auditory onslaught that awaited me once I hit Power. Continue reading

Study Finds Angry, Awkward People in Non-Gaming Circles

Kohlrabi-i-am-gamer-1Alright, I had to write this one. It seems that I have an unconscious attraction towards socially stigmatized groups. When I was younger, it was my affinity for Insane Clown Posse; and now, it’s for being a gamer. When you’re bashed on for so long by random strangers online or on the street, their voices steadily drop in volume until they’re finally and blissfully muted. Continue reading

Steam Giveaway 2015


Calling All Poets!

Heya, folks! Lumpz the Clown here with another exciting announcement! About a year ago, I started hearing the buzz about a little game called…Insanity’s Blade! Developed and published by Causal Bit GamesInsanity’s Blade pits the hero, Thurstan, against the very spawn of Hell in a 2D adventure chock full of action, RPG and platforming elements!

Intense violence meets intense action as Thurstan desperately fights to avenge the deaths of his family and whole fucking village! Seriously, this man has nothing to lose and will only find satisfaction once the parties responsible for this vile deed are PUT DOWN!

Here’s the official trailer to get dat ass HYPED!

I have one, count ’em, ONE Steam key to give away to ONE lucky gamer! So how does said gamer get their grubby little paws on this piece of retro-inspired awesomeness?!

How to Win

Simple. Write me a piece of awesome gaming poetry. I was gonna go with another haiku callout, but I’m not here to restrict the amazing artistic talents of our own gaming community! Technically, I want to leave this as open as possible, but I do have a couple rules, namely:

  1. It must make sense to everyone, even those who have never even played the game being discussed.
  2. The poem must follow typical poem structure.
  3. It should be funny, amusing, interesting, etc.

I hope you marked that shit on your calender, as it will not be getting bumped, changed, jaunted, spooned….NONE OF THAT SHIT!


Never been a fan of that shit anyway.

I’m not putting a cap on the number of entries being accepted, but that only puts the pressure on YOU, the writer, to give me the best shit you can possibly muster! ALL entries will be read in the next Poetry Corner entry (here’s my previous one for those who may not be familiar with the series), with the winner receiving a discreet email from me containing the one, the only, Insanity’s Blade!

Of course, I’ll also be happy to include any links to your work in the video description. You have a website, a blog, social media? Let me know and I’ll link your ass up!

How to Participate

As my last attempt was a little mish-mash, I will ONLY be accepting entries delivered via email.

SEND ALL ENTRIES to lumpztheclown[at] NO EXCEPTIONS! All other entries will be rejected outright!

Again, I’m accepting an unlimited number of entries until 11:59PM, NOVEMBER 18th, 2015! Give me your best and let’s leave these motherfuckers eyes and ears bleeding with video game awesomeness! And hey, maybe a fresh, new copy of Insanity’s Blade JUST FOR YOU!

I wish you all the best of luck, and Lumpz the Clown OUT!



No Matter What, The Show Must Go On: You Matter


No Matter What

For those who are struggling, know this: YOU ARE NOT ALONE! A lot of us tend to take on the heavy task of trying to fix our pain ourselves, whether it’s through crippling loneliness or social awkwardness, and gamers are no exception. I’ve talked with many of my buddies on the low about these very real problems, and some of them even chose to commit suicide, feeling like there’s no way out. Continue reading